The Talking Phase

When it comes to relationships almost every woman runs into a phase where you are stuck trying to define the relationship, but you don’t want to be awkward or make things awkward by asking the guy. When it comes to millennials, we tend to use the term “Talking” very loosely, but what does it truly mean? The Webster-Merriam definition is to engage in speech, but the Urban Dictionary defines the term as the stage between just friends and dating. I personally refer to this stage as the stage of frustration due to the reason that, most people tend to get stuck in this stage with hopes of a future but never actually make it to the relationship resulting in one or both parties becoming hurt and frustrated.

Through research and discussion, I have found some tips that can help you avoid getting stuck or even frustrated with the “Talking” phase. The first step is simple, mentally set a time frame that you are willing to be in this phase. Anywhere between one to six months is ideal, six months being a stretch. After six months, both parties should know if they have any type of future. If you are talking longer than seven months you are more than likely just friends with benefits or the side girl. Now I will say there are exceptions to this but for the most part your situation is that of which that was stated above.

 The next tip requires you to be attentive, guys typically show their intentions through their actions. Observe how he interacts with you, how he talks to you, and about you to other people. Pay special attention to how he talks about you to those who hold significance in his life, such as his family and close friends.

These next two steps go hand in hand. Make sure you are showing him that you want a relationship, its honestly the meniscal things. Making sure you know his goals, that you are helping him work towards his goals, asking him about his family, and encouraging him to become the best he can be. On the other hand, don’t make yourself too available. In other words, don’t give girlfriend benefit when you are both technically still single. Why would he buy the whole cow if he could get the milk for free?

Finally, don’t be afraid to walk away, if you start to see that there isn’t a future or things are not going to work out walk away. Once again, the signs will show themselves but it’s on you to pay attention to them.

These tips are not a for sure way to avoid the stage of frustration, but they will help prevent you from wasting your time. Even so when it comes to the talking phase make sure you are being wise about the time you are taking to get to know him and taking the time to develop the potential future. Remember to take your time but don't waste your time.